Vacancy

I think that telephone personal greetings are one of the most most most affective ways to present yourself (and also to spot the callers’ reactions – obviously). Sure Facebook and Hi5 and Myspace can do the trick too, but what’s better than an old traditional personal message.

Sooo i decided to RECORD. Wierd or funky or lame or  simply classical. Anything differnt from, ” Hi, This is Jamshaid Quershi. Please leave your name and number and we will get back to you as soon as possible, thanks.”

And the responces  actually turn out  pretty – uh -random  ( to as far as I’ve gotten  it that is – it’s the end of the second day by the way).

More than half of the callers just hang-up, ha- they probaly think they called the wrong house or something. But…those who manage to survive the odd greeting, actually leave messages.

Below, are the recoded greetings, some  callers, and their awkward responses. Some are boring, I admit; but what can we do? Brown uncles and aunties are often very boring.

Greetings

- Hi, we are not around right now, but the answering machine is,  so you can talk to it instead. Wait for the beep.

- (Rhymes with crazy frog’s song, “We are the champions”)We are the champions who refuse to stay home. We will call you back when we get home. Please leave your message and your name. We will call you back when we get home. Here comes the beep.

Responses

Some Uncle:

It’s me. You had to come to Canadian tire with me today. Call me when you get it.

Me:

OMG i sound so lame.

Unknow:

Thud.

Muiz:

Aaaaaaa. Oooooo. Aaaaaa. Hubba appi is it you or Izza?

Mom:

Ya Hubba where are you? Hello? Hello?…Hello…She’s not there.  (thinks she hung up) anty I have it, i turned it off. (dialing, Hangs-up).

Isra:

Aoaoauouuaooo.

My favourite aunt:

You recorded this message right.

Unknown:

(Distant voices)This is the last for you guys…in the morning…tell them it’s march break. Tell them.

I’ve always wondered what people thought about. I mean everyone CAN’T think the same can they. I’ve always wondered how what’s pretty to my eye might be hideous to someone else’s. Different perspectives. Yes it’s heard: everyone is different, everyone is unique. Everyone has a unique lense from which they see through to the world – their own paradigm. What might be a pretty dress to me, might be a fashion disaster to someone else; or my lovely orchid might look like some dead leafless ‘thing’ to someone else. So this is exactly where the different perspectives come into being.

What I wanted to find out was how exactly do you describe what’s ugly? Are my eyes modified to see what’s ugly? There are sooo many different people with sooo many different opinions – how to know what’s ugly?

So I took the task upon myself, and went around asking people what ugly is. This task, to find ugly. What is this creature? How do you define it? Do you even define it? What are the symptoms when this disease comes over you, and what is the cure for this ugliness? Is it a character? An accessory? A personality? A ‘thing’?

I see that it’s my responsibility as a writer to know what’s ugly. How many times do we use this word in a day let’s say. Five? Ten? And what do we refer to is as?  The word hasn’t turn into a useless slang yet (like how ‘sick’ supposedly means ‘good’ now). So what’s ugly. Sometimes I think how dumb I am. I’ve used ugly so many times over and over in my life, and still don’t know what it is. Is it the black shoes the girl next to me is wearing? Or is it just my own shoes. What’s beauty, what’s ugly? The dictionary says ugly is a thing disagreeable; unpleasant; objectionable. My definition of ugly would be that it’s just an illusion. If something is ugly then its defect in the viewer’s eye. It’s the problem with the lense – it’s too blurred.

I wonder if something is ugly, or is just the viewer’s eye failing to see the beauty…